Deciding how to best spend MY hard-earned money

Dear "conservative" friend,

I've decided that you're right. I should be paying far less in taxes and I should be deciding how best to spend MY hard-earned salary. Government's a mess anyway, right? Here's my plan:

Sundays I'll handle all the faith-based initiatives programs.
Mondays I will inspect mines and bridges.
Tuesdays I will run the court system.
Wednesdays are homeland security.
Thursdays I will run the army & the air force. Military is important, but those generals earn too much. I can do it cheaper.
Fridays I'll be an air traffic controller.
And I can look out for business interests on Saturday. Except that's my day off. Sorry.

How does that sound?

Now, when do I earn all the money that I won't be taxed on?

Sincerely,
Your newly conservative friend, who is always willing to help out.